Why is six afraid of seven?
-----------------------Because seven eight nine.
What do you call your father-in-law’s only child’s mother-in-law?
-----------------------Mom.
Why do lions eat raw meat?
-----------------------Because they never learn to cook.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
-----------------------To get to the other side.
Why did the fox cross the road?
-----------------------To get the chicken.
Why did the gum cross the road?
-----------------------It was on the chicken’s foot.
Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
-----------------------To prove it was not a chicken.
Why did the weasel cross the road twice?
-----------------------He was a double crosser.
Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
-----------------------It didn’t have the guts.
What goes up a chimney down, but won’t go down a chimney up?
-----------------------Ann umbrella.
What’s black and white and red all over?
-----------------------A zebra that doesn’t know how to put lipstick on.
What is the largest ant in the world?
-----------------------An elephant.
How much is a skunk worth?
-----------------------One scent.
What kind of monkey can fly?
-----------------------A hot air baboon.
Why did the cake like to play baseball?
-----------------------Because it was a good batter.
What goes hahaha, plop?
-----------------------Someone laughing their head off.
Why didn’t the lady run away from the attacking lion?
-----------------------They told her it was a maneating lion.
Why has no one ever spotted a leopard in Africa?
-----------------------Because leopards are already born with spots.
What did the banana do when it heard the ice scream?
-----------------------It split.